Back in 8th grade, I learned about “mean
girls.” It happened after the Snowball Dance. I was finally
friendly with some of the popular girls and we were hanging out together in
school and during the dance. At the end of the festivities, it was
customary to meet at a restaurant to continue the night and sometimes have a
sleepover. We were going to meet at Friendly’s. My closest friend
and I went there and waited for the rest of the group to arrive. They never
did. They went somewhere else and neglected to let us know. We
found out later we were also excluded from the sleepover. The next day, these
girls still had the audacity to show up at my house to swim in my pool.
They acted as if they were entitled and were completely reckless with our
feelings. On those few days, I learned how to be apprehensive about
female friendships. How would this mold me in the future?
Fast forward to senior year. The mean girls have added
to their brood and continue on their road to exclusivity. They arranged a
prom house in which you will need a special wristband to stay at their house
and attend their parties. Only handpicked people need apply.
Normally, seniors would go from house to house to attend each other’s’ parties.
If I was still in 8th grade, I would have been devastated. I
am not. What changed?
I am guessing you are thinking I am going to go into an
explanation of how I have grown and do not need mean girl approval. This
would be true. Or that I found other groups of people and other
activities that interest me. This would also be true. Or that I
unfriended them on Facebook and spend some of my time gossiping about their
lack of intelligence, style, or their evil personalities. This would NOT
be true. What?
The interaction of girl versus girl has been well
documented. We have pretty and dumb versus plain and intelligent.
We have skinny versus fat. We have the mommy wars between working women
and stay at home women. We have Jersey Shore. *skid sounds* We
pick a side and go at it. And we all laugh at Snooki. I think we
should have a Female Evolution Revolution. Why shouldn’t it start with
me?
Well, it has. Truth be told, I am still friends with
some of those mean girls. What I recognize is girls have worth of some
kind. We need to stop throwing stones at girls who are not like
ourselves. We need to prop each other up. We need to become fans of
each other’s ability and not be afraid to say so. The pretty, dumb girl probably
has makeup tips we all could use—then she isn’t so dumb after all. That nerdy
science girl might come up with strategies on how to prevent cancer. Tell
her you are glad she got the A in the AP Biology test. All women look
good in different styles whether fat, skinny, or average weight. Tell
them how good they look. As for the Mommy Wars, we need to recognize all
jobs have difficult components. Working moms may want some more time with
kids and can take stay-at-home moms’ kids with them on
a weekend. Stay-at-home moms can carpool for the working mom or take
pictures and video for her. We need to open our tents and let everyone
inside. We need to celebrate our differences and toast our
likenesses. As for me and the girls in my class, I look at them
with an open mind. They really are not so mean. Don’t you think I
should crash their party?
--Kiersten Campbell
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